To handle adultery, and I pray that you never have to, you need to forgive. Do not divorce because the Lord hates it. If you have 13 minutes, I will tell you more.

To Handle Adultery, You Need To Forgive, Not Divorce

STM Bible Lesson

Matthew 6:14-15 [read Matthew 6:14-15]

If you forgive others for the wrongs they do to you, your Father in heaven will forgive you. 15 But if you don’t forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins. (CEV)

KJV: For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: 15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

To forgive, one must not be bitter or want revenge. In fact, you show love and mercy to the other person(s). Plus, you no longer blame them for what they did.

Colossians 3:12-13 [read Colossians 3:12-17 (12-13)]

As holy people whom God has chosen and loved, be sympathetic, kind, humble, gentle, and patient. 13 Put up with each other, and forgive each other if anyone has a complaint. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (GW)

KJV: Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; 13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

God rejected the Israelite’s offerings because of divorce

Malachi 2:14-16 [read Malachi 2:13-16 (14-16)]

You ask why he no longer accepts them (i.e., offerings). It is because he knows you have broken your promise to the wife you married when you were young. She was your partner, and you have broken your promise to her, although you promised before God that you would be faithful to her. 15 Didn’t God make you one body and spirit with her? What was his purpose in this?
It was that you should have children who are truly God’s people. So make sure that none of you breaks his promise to his wife. 16 “I hate divorce,” says the Lord God of Israel. “I hate it when one of you does such a cruel thing to his wife. Make sure that you do not break your promise to be faithful to your wife.” (GNT)

KJV: Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. 15 And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. 16 For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.

Unity, i.e., oneness with the Spirits help

Ephesians 4:2-3 [read Ephesians 4:1-6 (2-3)]

Live and work without pride. Be gentle and kind. Do not be hard on others. Let love keep you from doing that. 3 Work hard to live together as one by the help of the Holy Spirit. Then there will be peace. (NLV)

KJV: With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; 3 Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Yes, we, God’s children, do things in special ways. In other words, ways that are not usual. So, when others want to divorce, we let go, forget about it (forgive), and continue to love.

A marriage requires mutual faithfulness

Hebrews 13:4 [read Hebrews 13:4]

Marriage is to be honored by all, and husbands and wives must be faithful to each other. God will judge those who are immoral and those who commit adultery. (GNT)

KJV: Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Revenge is especially forbidden

Romans 12:19-21 [read Romans 12:9-21 (19-21)]

My dear friends, don’t try to get even. Leave room for God to show his anger. It is written, “I am the God who judges people. I will pay them back,” (Deuteronomy 32:35) says the Lord. 20
Do just the opposite. Scripture says,“If your enemies are hungry, give them food to eat. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. By doing those things, you will pile up burning coals on their heads.” (Proverbs 25:21,22)21 Don’t let evil overcome you. Overcome evil by doing good. (NIRV)

KJV: Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. 20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. 21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

Some may find comfort in knowing that your Father will take care of this. You do not have to get revenge or pay back. Your job is to love, show respect, and be faithful.

Have a believer’s mindset in all relationships

As people of God, we must submit to (i.e., be willing to: obey, put others first, and serve) each other in all relationships. Not only as fellow believers and followers of Christ but as husband and wife.

Ephesians 5:21 [read Ephesians 5:22-33 (21)]

Be willing to help and care for each other because of Christ. By doing this, you honor Christ. (NLV)

KJV: Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

Wives ought to obey their husbands

Ephesians 5:22-24 [read Ephesians 5:22-33 ()]

Wives, follow the Christlike leadership of your husbands. 23  For the husband is the spiritual leader of the wife, as Christ is the leader of the church—his body—of whom he is the Savior. 24  As the church follows the leadership of Christ, so also wives should follow the Christlike leadership of their husbands in everything. (Remedy)

KJV: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Husbands ought to love their wives

Ephesians 5:25, 28-29 [read Ephesians 5:22-33 (25, 28-29)]

25 Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her 28 In the same way husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one has ever hated his own body, but he feeds it and takes care of it, just as Christ also does the church, (NET)

KJV: 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

Husband love her and wife respect him

Ephesians 5:33 [read Ephesians 5:22-33 (33)]

To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband. (CSB)

KJV: Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Agapē forgives

1 Peter 4:8 [read 1 Peter 4:7-11 (8)]

Above all things have intense and unfailing love for one another, for love covers* a multitude of sins [forgives and disregards the offenses of others]. (AMPC)

KJV: And above all things have fervent charity (love) among yourselves: for charity (love) shall cover the multitude of sins.

*Thayer:

cover (G2572 καλύπτω Transliteration: kalýptō Part(s) of speech: Verb Definition: to hide, veil (to conceal, cover, or hide), i. e. to hinder the knowledge of a thing. Not to regard or impute (to blame someone for doing something bad, give credit for good work) them, i. e. to pardon them.

*Benson commentary:

It will cause us to excuse them in others, and will entitle us, through divine mercy to the expectation of forgiveness for our own numberless failings.

To close, the old you may have decided to get rid of the cheater. But you are a loving new person. And because of agape, you can forgive many wrongs. Including the unfaithful actions of your spouse.

The gift of love, given to you via the Holy Spirit, has amazing qualities. It aids to keep pain and hate from leading you down the wrong path. In this case towards divorce. Which is not what the Lord wants.

Handle adultery like a Christian

1 Peter 3:9 [read 1 Peter 3:8-12 (9)]

If people do bad things to you, do not do anything bad to them in return. If people insult you, do not insult them in return. Instead, pray that God will bless those people. That is what God wants you to do. Then you will receive the gift of God’s blessing. (EASY)

KJV: Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.

I am so very proud of you and the way you handle adultery. Your decision to forgive and not divorce is the right one. God is pleased with you. Thank you for taking the time to read this Bible lesson. I urge you to make full use of it. Blessings to you and your loved ones—♥ Tim. ☺

Related studies, lessons, and snacks for further spiritual growth:

5 Helpful Studies to Make You Want to Avoid Adultery – an estimated 30-minute read.

Forgive Each Other; Learn How to Forgive with Love – an estimated 23-minute read.

God Forgives You, To Be Forgiven, You Must Forgive – an estimated 13-minute read.

Make Your Marriage Succeed: Wife And Husband Biblical Advice – an estimated 17-minute read.

You Are Forgiven, Wonderful, Go And Sin No More – an estimated 5-minute read.

See the latest on the Sound Truth Ministry website.

I look forward to your feedback via comment at the bottom of the page or by emailing tim@stministry.com. Have a wonderful day!